


Cowardice is To Blame For the World's Injustice

by blazingstar29



Category: Divergent (Movies), Divergent - All Media Types, Divergent Series - Veronica Roth
Genre: Blood and Injury, Character Death, Divergent Timelines, Drowning, Suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-10
Updated: 2020-01-10
Packaged: 2021-02-27 05:14:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 927
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22191640
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blazingstar29/pseuds/blazingstar29
Summary: Al's suicide and the thought he has prior to the jump.
Relationships: Al/Tris Prior
Kudos: 9





	Cowardice is To Blame For the World's Injustice

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this for my literature class last year and I've finally got around to posting it, is his fandom actually dead? quite likely.  
> Please heed the tags, this does deal with frank suicide, death and suicidal thoughts.  
> (Title is the Dauntless manifesto)

Al rolled onto his back, the silence of the dormitory was stifling. The bed framed groaned depressingly beneath his weight. His blankets felt tight and restricting, but he knew he would not be in his bed for much longer. It took a long time for the final initiate to fall into slumber. Once Al was sure no one would stir he slipped from the covers. His Dauntless issue boots hit the floor with a squeal, Al flinched sharply at the sound. Quietly, the big initiate weaved through the rows of beds to the door. With apprehension he looked behind him, his eyes drawn to the small lump of blankets. Blonde hair peaked out of the top of the ball, curled up like a turtle. Protecting herself from any horrors she may face, that she has faced.

“I’m sorry Tris,” the words, spoken at a whisper rolled around his brain loudly. Like wrecking balls smacking together in his head, it was nauseating. With a sharp intake of breath, Al left the dormitory.

Within the compound the halls where empty, but the noise of the Pit echoed upwards. Would it be so hard as to walk off the edge and plummet into the pit hundreds of feet below? In his heart of hearts, he knew he wouldn’t do it, couldn’t do it. That would be cowardly, Dauntless shun cowardice. Cowards are weak, just like him. But even deeper he heard the voice egging him on. Slowly, Al found his feet taking him to the chasm bridge. The water sprayed the walls.

The bridge never looked so safe. Walking across it on the way to training, it felt dangerous, volatile. The light of day highlighted the deadly reality of the bridge, a tight rope of death. He had never viewed it the same way since Christina dangled over it. A painful spray splashed Al’s cheek his head rocketed back. Joltingly, Al stepped to the centre. His leather boots squelched as they pressed against the moist steel. It was peaceful, something Al never thought could happen in the Dauntless compound. It was loud and aggressive never peaceful, never still. 

The steel creaked. Spray hit his face again, he didn’t flinch this time. Without thinking Al swung his long legs over the worn railing, it creaked as he settled his weight. The water surged aggressively meters below him. If he squinted there seemed some sort of outcrop of rocks, a platform. But it was too dark to see anything of importance. Nothing that affected him at least. No. Right now, it was just him and the gurgling water. Liquid death, Al thought to himself. 

Jump.  
Do it, jump.  
Go on, it’ll make things easier.  
No more fear landscapes, no more guilt.

No.

Why not? It’ll be so easy, no one will even care, not even Tris.  
She hates you, they all hate you. 

“Shut up, shut up, shut up!” Al growled to himself. The voice went quiet, allowing Al to become peaceful again. It also allowed him to notice a blinking red light near the bridge entrance. There was enough light for the shape of a camera to be illuminated. Al had seen them around the compound before, until now he had never thought anything of them. Until now he had never had enough clarity and peace, or at least as at peace as he can be. Al continued watching the water crash beneath his feat. 

It would be so easy, you know?  
No one around, no one to care. 

Al whined and clutched his head in his hands. The voice in his head had been whispering for weeks, the night he joined in Peter’s schemes was the night it began yelling. Sometimes it told him to fight and survive. But now, after everything Al had done, it was telling him to leave. To jump and never look back, no one would care. His parents would never know, what they don’t know can’t hurt them. Tonight, Al believed the voice more than ever.

That’s it, you know it’s right.  
You know it’s the only way dear child. 

The voice is right, it always has. Al knew he was too much of a coward to ever do it. To take the plunge, literally. But tonight, he was ready.

A wave of water crept up and drenched Al in water, he closed his eyes and leant forward. His heart thumps loudly in his chest. Slowly Al’s iron grip on the railings loosens, he inches forwards gravity tugs him down. Al’s weight over balances him and he lurches forward. Within a second Al’s body smacks into the bitterly cold water. The current tosses him against rocks. Not even the lack of instant death makes Al regret his decision. 

The current drags him along, his leg becomes wedged between two rocks. It keeps him just above water, just surviving. He can’t survive, that would be cowardly. Hysterically Al claws at the rocks, ripping his hands. The few gasps of air his lung forces him to take when his faces surfaces keep him alive long enough for a wave to push him along. His ankles protest as he is pulled away, but still not free. Al doesn’t see the water turn red with blood. 

A stronger wave falls over him and pushes him down. Al’s temples smacks violently into a rock. Lungs screaming, Al’s vision fade. His eyes fall just, blackness envelopes him. A strange warmth brings comfort to Al as he enters an inky prison. One he will never leave. Al never opens his eyes again


End file.
